The Dreaded Topic: Divorce

 Divorce is not a fun topic by any means.  It usually entails resentment, anger, hurt, and long-lasting effects that will bother the divorced spouses and the children.  Today, we learned the importance of being educated about the predictors for divorce.  By understanding what can predict divorce, we can prepare ourselves before the word is mentioned in a marriage.  Some common make divorce appear to be an option to an unhappy marriage if: they grew up seeing their parents' unhealthy relationship, follow their parents' destructive patterns, recreating their parents' patterns (this is usually habitual and some may not even recognize it), and cohabitation.  We can break these harmful patterns and predictors by becoming conscious and aware of our own situations.  There are some qualities children love about their parents' techniques for parenting and some we would hope we can avoid in our future.  Recognition of those patterns is crucial, once we can recognize them, we can follow the 3 P's: preparing, planning, and practicing.  The 3 P's will help us redefine our situation and future.  In a talk given by Bruce R. Hafen, he discusses the percent each spouse should give in a marriage.  I'll paraphrase, but he says that if each spouse gives 100%, when one falls short, there is always enough between the two spouses to make up the difference, thus there is a safety net to guard the marriage!  However, if each spouse only gives 50%, then when one falls short, there is nothing to make up the difference.  I ask each reader out there, please safe guard your marriage (whether it is now or in your future).  Marriage is a beautiful and unifying gift, troubles will come and go, some more difficult than others.  However, if two people are giving 100% and helping their spouse when one falls short, you can get through just about any problem.  Divorce is so harmful for all parties involved (children, in laws, the divorcing spouses, friends of the couple, etc).